Part 2 of Gender and Sexuality
Scripture: Ephesians 4:15
“But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ.”(Ephesians 4:15, LSB). These words from Paul set the tone for how believers must engage with the LGBTQ+ conversation: balancing unwavering truth with Christ-like love. In our cultural moment, issues of sexuality and gender identity are front and center. The church’s response has eternal significance – it must be both clear in biblical convictionand compassionate in tone. Every age has its challenges, and ours is no exception. As Carl Trueman reminds us, “The task of the Christian is not to whine about the moment in which he or she lives but to understand its problems and respond appropriately to them” (Trueman, 2020, p. 29). Today’s “problems” include questions about LGBTQ+ identities and lifestyles, which many of our neighbors, friends, or even family members navigate. How can believers uphold God’s design for sexuality without compromise, while genuinely loving the people caught in these issues? In this post, we will seek a biblically anchored and pastorally compassionate approach, recognizing that a cosmic spiritual battle rages over human identity and the image of God (Heiser, 2015, p. 53). We will lean on Scripture (quoting from the Legacy Standard Bible), real-life examples, and trusted theological insights to equip believers to speak truth in love on LGBTQ+ issues.
Speaking the Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15)
Ephesians 4:15 calls Christians to “speak[] the truth in love” as we grow into Christlikeness. Truth and love are not opposites; they are friends. Jesus embodied both perfectly (John 1:14), and we are called to do the same. In context, Paul was urging maturity in the church, so that believers would not be swayed by false teachings but would hold to truth in a loving manner. This balance is crucial in our discussions about LGBTQ+ matters. On one hand, truth compels us to affirm what God’s Word clearly teaches about human sexuality. On the other hand, love compels us to treat LGBTQ+ individuals with genuine dignity, respect, and compassion as fellow image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:27). If we have truth without love, we become clanging cymbals of harshness (cf. 1 Corinthians 13:1); if we have love without truth, we offer mere sentimentality that cannot save or transform.
Jesus’ example shows how to hold this tension. When Jesus met the Samaritan woman living in sexual sin, He lovingly engaged her in conversation and offered her “living water,” yet also truthfully exposed the sin in her life (John 4:7–18). He did not shy away from saying, “the one you now have is not your husband,” but neither did He condemn her without offering hope. Similarly, when confronting the woman caught in adultery, He first protected her from her accusers, saying “Neither do I condemn you,” and then added, “go and sin no more” (John 8:11). In Christ we see compassion without compromising God’s standard. He loved sinners and welcomed them, but always with a view to calling them out of sin to holiness. As disciples of Christ, we must adopt the same posture toward LGBTQ+ individuals: an attitude of gentle, understanding love coupled with firm allegiance to biblical truth.
Ephesians 4:15 also ties this “truth in love” practice to our growth in Christ (“grow up in all aspects into Him”). In other words, handling tough issues like sexuality with both truth and love is a mark of Christian maturity. It reflects the character of our Head, Jesus Christ. If we fail to be loving, we are misrepresenting Christ’s heart; if we fail to be truthful, we are misrepresenting His holiness. Therefore, as we proceed to understand LGBTQ+ issues, compassion and conviction must go hand in hand. With this biblical foundation laid, we can explore who LGBTQ+ people are and what challenges they face, so that our response can be informed by empathy as well as theology.
Understanding LGBTQ+ People and Experiences
Before diving into moral evaluations, Christians should strive to understand the people behind the LGBTQ+ labels. The acronym LGBTQ+ encompasses a variety of experiences: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, and others. Each person’s story is unique. Many have felt different or isolated from a young age, wrestling with attractions or identity questions they didn’t choose. Some have faced bullying, rejection, or even abuse. By the time an LGBTQ+ individual meets a Christian, they may already carry deep wounds. Our first reaction, therefore, should be one of compassion and listening. James 1:19 reminds us, “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” Practically, this means taking time to hear someone’s journey – their struggles, fears, and hopes – before rushing to give them a sermon. Real-life pastoral experience shows that when an LGBTQ+ identified person encounters a Christian who truly listens and cares, it can be disarming in a positive way.
We must also affirm a core truth: every LGBTQ+ individual is a person made in God’s image and precious to Him. This is a non-negotiable starting point of a biblical worldview. As apologist Neil Shenvi points out, “according to the Bible, all human beings are made in God’s image… and all human beings need salvation in Christ” (Shenvi, 2020, paras. 57–64). Recognizing someone as an image-bearer doesn’t mean affirming all their choices; it means we acknowledge their inherent God-given dignity. This should banish any attitude of disgust or hatred. Sadly, some Christians have responded to the LGBTQ+ community with outright rejection or derogatory rhetoric, forgetting that pride and self-righteousness are sins as grievous as sexual immorality. We must repent of any disdain and replace it with Christ-like love that seeks the sinner’s good. Remember, Scripture calls us to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:44); how much more should we love our neighbor or family member who identifies as gay or transgender?
Understanding also involves grasping the cultural narrative that surrounds this issue. Today’s society encourages people to see their sexual orientation or gender identity as core to their personal identity. Many truly feel that to question their LGBTQ+ identification is to reject them as a person. Carl Trueman observes how, in the modern “psychologized” view of self, sexuality lies “at the very heart of what it means to be an authentic person” (Trueman, 2020, p. 300). Thus, when Christians uphold biblical teaching, it can sound to LGBTQ+ people like we are attacking their very personhood. Understanding this dynamic helps us respond with sensitivity. We can clarify that we are not rejecting their humanity – in fact, we affirm their value so much that we want God’s best for them. It also helps us see why there is often such visceral reaction against traditional morality. In contemporary culture, disagreement is often framed as hatred or “phobia.” As Trueman notes, terms like homophobia or transphobia are used to brand dissenting views as irrational bigotry, effectively shutting down dialogue (Trueman, 2020, pp. 363–365). Knowing this, we shouldn’t be surprised if our biblical stance is misunderstood. We will need patience to explain our position and consistent demonstrations of genuine love to prove we are for the person even if we cannot affirm all their desires.
In sum, understanding the human side of LGBTQ+ issues means: seeing people as image-bearers, listening to their stories, acknowledging the heavy identity significance these labels carry, and being aware of the cultural minefield we are navigating. With that compassionate understanding, we earn a platform to share God’s perspective. True compassion doesn’t mean uncritical acceptance of every belief or behavior – it means caring enough to walk with someone in their struggle and ultimately point them toward truth that leads to life. As we care for individuals, we must also remain firmly moored to the biblical convictions about sex and identity that truth requires. Compassion without truth is mere human sentiment; compassion with truth is a channel of God’s grace. So what does the Bible teach about sexuality that we cannot compromise?
Biblical Convictions on Sexuality and Identity
Scripture is unambiguous about God’s design for human sexuality. From the opening chapters of Genesis, we learn that God created humanity in His image as “male and female” (Genesis 1:27) and ordained marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24). Jesus reaffirmed this creational design, saying “from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female” and “the two shall become one flesh” (Mark 10:6–8). Within this one-man, one-woman marriage covenant, sexual intimacy is blessed (Hebrews 13:4). Any sexual activity outside of this marriage covenant is portrayed in the Bible as sin – this includes adultery, fornication (pre-marital sex), polyamory, pornography (lust of the heart), and yes, homosexual practice. The consistent witness of Scripture, in at least seven major passages, is that homosexual behavior is contrary to God’s will (Grudem, 2018, p. 858). For example, Leviticus 18:22 forbids a man lying with a male as with a woman. The New Testament reinforces this: Romans 1:26–27 describes same-sex relations as “unnatural” and a consequence of humanity’s rebellion against God, and 1 Corinthians 6:9–10 pointedly includes “homosexuals” (among other sinners) who will not inherit the kingdom of God apart from repentance. Scholarly efforts to re-interpret these passages have been thoroughly refuted – the Bible’s stance is clear (Yuan, 2018, pp. 41–45).
Wayne Grudem summarizes the biblical verdict plainly: “Scripture consistently views all types of homosexual conduct as contrary to God’s moral will” (Grudem, 2018, p. 859). This is part of the truth we must speak. To deny or downplay what God calls sin is neither loving nor faithful. It is not loving because it leaves people in bondage to behaviors that separate them from God (Isaiah 59:2, Romans 6:23). It is not faithful because it compromises the authority of Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16). Therefore, “compassion without compromise” means we cannot affirm same-sex sexual relationships or gender identities that defy God’s design. We have to tell the truth: that acting on homosexual desires is sin, just as acting on heterosexual lust outside of marriage is sin. Our churches must not perform same-sex weddings or endorse LGBTQ+ lifestyles, even as the surrounding culture demands celebration of these. Jude 3 urges believers to “contend earnestly for the faith once for all delivered to the saints,” and in our generation that includes upholding biblical sexual ethics under pressure.
At the same time, we must remember that homosexuality is not an isolated sin in a special category of its own. The Bible “shouts” about many sins of the heart – pride, greed, idolatry – just as loudly as it “shouts” about sexual immorality (Greear, 2019, as cited in Gagnon, 2024, p. 2). Paul’s list in 1 Corinthians 6 includes greedy swindlers and drunkards alongside the sexually immoral. This perspective breeds humility in us. We are all sinners in need of grace (Romans 3:23). There is no place for a moral hierarchy that looks down on LGBTQ+ sin as worse than others. In fact, Jesus warned that it was the self-righteous religious people who may be in greatest danger (Matthew 21:31). So while we hold fast to biblical convictions, we do so with a posture that says, “I too am a sinner saved by grace, and I want you to know the grace I’ve found”. This mindset keeps compassion alive even as we stand firm on truth.
Furthermore, maintaining biblical conviction includes affirming the goodness of God’s design. We are not merely against something; we are for something beautiful – the sanctity of marriage as a picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31–32), the complementary design of male and female cooperating in God’s creation mandate (Genesis 1:28), and the blessing of sexual expression within God’s boundaries. In a sense, every “Thou shalt not” of Scripture guards a positive blessing God wants us to enjoy. We should communicate that we believe God’s commands about sex are not arbitrary or cruel, but life-giving. Like a fire within a fireplace warms the house, sex within God’s prescribed context brings joy and flourishing; but taken outside those bounds, it can burn the house down. Our conviction is that God knows what is best for us, even when our culture or feelings disagree (Isaiah 55:9).
In summary, our biblical convictions that we cannot compromise are: (1) God created only two genders, male and female, and established marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 1–2; Mark 10:6–9); (2) All sexual behavior outside heterosexual marriage is sin – including homosexual acts (Romans 1:26–27; 1 Cor. 6:9–10); (3) All humans are sinners and need Christ’s redemption, regardless of the particular sins (Romans 3:23; 1 Cor. 6:11); and (4) God’s design and commands for sexuality are ultimately for our good, even when counter-cultural (Psalm 19:7–11). Holding these truths, let us see how to communicate them with compassion in practical ways.
Compassion in Practice: Loving Without Affirming
How can we love LGBTQ+ individuals authentically while never affirming what God forbids? This challenge requires wisdom, courage, and grace. Here are a few practical guidelines for living out “compassion without compromise”:
- Build genuine friendships: Don’t let someone’s LGBTQ+ identity be a barrier to knowing them as a person. Invite your gay neighbor over for coffee, attend your coworker’s birthday party, show interest in their life. You can love the person even if you don’t love everything they do. True friendship dispels stereotypes and shows that our care is not a project but real. For example, Pastor Ken Smith and his wife Floy befriended a lesbian English professor named Rosaria, opening their home to her week after week with no agenda except to share Christ’s love. Through that friendship and Scripture study, Rosaria Butterfield eventually came to faith and left her lesbian relationship (Butterfield, 2012, p. 38). It all began with hospitality and genuine care. Jesus was known as a “friend of sinners” (Matthew 11:19); we should be too.
- Listen and empathize: When an LGBTQ+ individual trusts you enough to share their feelings or story, listen well. Avoid jumping in immediately with moral corrections. As the old saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” A compassionate listening ear can diffuse hostility and open the door for truth. It’s appropriate to acknowledge the pain they may have experienced – for instance, the loneliness of feeling “different,” the hurt from family rejection, or the anxiety and depression that are statistically common in LGBTQ populations. We can say, “I’m so sorry you’ve had these struggles” sincerely. This is not an endorsement of sin; it’s an expression of human empathy, following the command to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).
- Speak truth gently and clearly: There will come a time to share what we believe the Bible says. When that time comes, clarity with kindness is key. Ephesians 4:15 is our guide: do it in love. We might say, “Because I follow Jesus, I believe what the Bible teaches about sexuality. I know that might be hard to hear, but can I explain why I hold that view?” A loving explanation might include the goodness of creation, the brokenness of all humanity (not singling out just their issue), and the message of the gospel that offers forgiveness and a new heart. It’s important to emphasize that God’s commands come from His love. Frame it as, “I care about you, and I truly believe living within God’s design leads to flourishing.” Avoid harsh or condemning language. Remember, our tone can either reinforce or undermine the message of love. As 2 Timothy 2:24–25 instructs, “the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome but be kind to all… correcting those who are in opposition with gentleness, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.” Ultimately, repentance is something God grants; our role is to present truth lovingly and trust the Holy Spirit to work in the heart (John 16:8).
- Set healthy boundaries without cutting off relationship: Compassion does not mean unreserved approval of every request. For instance, you might have a gay friend who invites you to their same-sex wedding. Attending could be seen as celebrating a union you believe is contrary to God’s will, so your conscience might not allow you to go. You can lovingly decline: “I care about you, but I hope you can respect that my faith won’t let me participate in that ceremony.” Similarly, if a biological male friend identifies as female and asks you to use female pronouns, you face a difficult choice. Some Christians, out of courtesy, choose to use the preferred name but avoid pronouns or use neutral language to not endorse a falsehood; others, like theologian Wayne Grudem, argue that using pronouns contrary to biological sex “affirms a lie” and thus should be avoided (Grudem, 2018, p. 883). Either way, kindly explain your reasoning if needed: “I’m not trying to hurt you, but I believe God made you a man for a reason, and I don’t want to deny that. I hope you understand this comes from my commitment to truth.” There may be times when holding the line on truth causes tension or even a break in a relationship – we can’t always prevent that. But let it be the truth itself that offends, not our lack of love. We should do everything we can to communicate, “I still want to be in your life, even if we disagree.”
- Pray and point to Christ: Perhaps the most compassionate thing we can do is pray earnestly for our LGBTQ+ friends and family. Prayer acknowledges that only God can open eyes and soften hearts (2 Corinthians 4:4–6). It also keeps us humble, remembering that we too depend on grace. Pray for opportunities to share not just a moral stance but the good news of Jesus. Ultimately, our goal is not to convince someone to behave like a Christian while their heart is unchanged; our goal is that they meet Jesus. A person who comes to know and love Christ will, in time, come to understand His commands. As Christopher Yuan, who himself turned from a gay lifestyle to follow Christ, often says: the ultimate issue is not just “What is your sexuality?” but “Who is Jesus Christ?”. We want to introduce people to the Savior who died for them and offers them new life, including new identity and desires. Keep pointing to Jesus—His love displayed at the cross, His power shown in His resurrection, and His invitation to all sinners: “Come to Me… and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). The Holy Spirit can do far more than we can in transforming a heart.
By implementing these principles, we actively demonstrate compassion without compromise. Consider a pastoral example: A young man named Alex shares with his Christian mentor that he experiences same-sex attraction and is considering leaving the church because he feels he cannot ever change. The mentor thanks Alex for trusting him, affirms his care for Alex, and listens as Alex pours out his feelings of confusion and shame. The mentor then gently reminds Alex that our feelings do not define our identity – God does – and that all Christians are called to deny themselves and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23), though the particular cross we carry may differ. He shares 1 Corinthians 6:11, “such were some of you,” as evidence that God has delivered others from former identities and sins. He encourages Alex that holiness, not heterosexuality, is God’s goal for him (Yuan, 2018, p. 47). Over the next months, the mentor meets regularly with Alex for prayer, Bible study, and even accountability with internet use, while also involving him in church community. Alex finds that he isn’t “turned straight” overnight, but he experiences a deeper relationship with Christ and a support network in the church that helps him pursue purity. This kind of discipleship takes time and patience, but it is the outworking of true compassion.
The Unseen Battle: Spiritual Warfare Over Sexuality
Throughout this discussion, we must remain aware that more is going on than meets the eye. The Bible reveals that our struggle is not merely against cultural trends or human opinions, “but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12, LSB). In other words, there is a spiritual war being waged over the hearts, minds, and identities of people. Issues of sexuality and gender are a significant front in that cosmic battle. According to Michael Heiser’s research on the unseen realm of spiritual powers, the distortion of human sexuality is not an accident – it’s influenced by demonic deception aimed at marring the image of God in humanity (Heiser, 2015, pp. 102–107). From the beginning, God’s enemy Satan has sought to twist and corrupt what God made good. Jesus said of the devil, “He was a murderer from the beginning… there is no truth in him… he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). One of those lies today is the idea that our identity is self-defined by our sexual feelings or that freedom is found in casting off God’s design.
We see this unseen battle in several ways. Many ancient pagan religions (connected with demonic idols, according to 1 Corinthians 10:20) normalized sexual immorality and even blurred gender distinctions in their worship practices. The same impulse appears in modern form as the enemy convinces people that God’s ways are restrictive and that true “self” must be discovered apart from the Creator. The rise of ideology that labels biblical morality as “oppressive” (Trueman, 2020, pp. 363–365) reflects spiritual forces that “exchange the truth of God for a lie” (Romans 1:25). Therefore, when we engage with LGBTQ+ issues, we must do so with spiritual weapons: prayer, truth, faith, and love (Ephesians 6:13–18). We pray for those blinded by the false promises of sexual liberation, that God would “open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God” (Acts 26:18). We stand firm in biblical truth, knowing that “the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses” (2 Corinthians 10:4). Those fortresses often include ideological strongholds like “sexuality is who I am” or “if it feels good, it must be my destiny.” We combat lies with God’s Word, just as Jesus did when tempted by Satan (Matthew 4:4).
Crucially, recognizing the spiritual battle keeps us from viewing LGBTQ+ individuals as the enemies. They are captives who need rescuing, not enemy combatants to be destroyed. Paul instructed Timothy to correct opponents gently so that “they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:26, NASB). What a compassionate image – those living in deception are like prisoners of war whom we seek to free with God’s help. Our real adversary is Satan and the spiritual forces propagating lies, not the people who have believed those lies. This perspective helps us maintain compassion even if an LGBTQ+ activist treats us as an enemy. We respond with blessing and prayer (Luke 6:27–28), waging war against the true enemy through truth and love.
Heiser (2015) emphasizes that the cosmic battle ultimately centers on the image of God. Human beings are God’s image-bearers, meant to reflect His glory. No wonder the enemy targets sexuality – because sexuality and gender are fundamental aspects of our embodied image-bearing. By confusing or defacing these, Satan seeks to deface God’s image. But here is the good news: Jesus Christ has already won the decisive battle. On the cross and through the resurrection, Christ defeated the powers of darkness (Colossians 2:15). He has launched a new creation in which broken sinners can be restored to the image of God (Colossians 3:9–10). Sexual sinners are not beyond the reach of this victory. The church advances Christ’s victory by proclaiming the gospel, which alone “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16). We engage confidently, knowing that the One in us is greater than the one in the world (1 John 4:4).
Conclusion: Clarity, Compassion, Conviction
Understanding LGBTQ+ issues with compassion without compromise is challenging, but it is the calling of Christ’s church in this generation. We have seen that it is possible – by God’s grace – to hold high the truth of Scripture about sexuality while also holding out grace and friendship to those who disagree. Indeed, true compassion demands that we not shy away from truth, for the truth sets people free (John 8:32). At the same time, truth must be conveyed with a heart that genuinely seeks the well-being of the other, mirroring the love of our Savior who wept over lost sinners even as He called them to repentance (Luke 19:41–42).
Believers today need a robust biblical worldview on gender and sexuality, because the messages of the culture are loud and persuasive. We have to deliberately counter those messages with God’s Word: telling ourselves and others that our Creator’s design is good, His commands are wise, and His gospel is redemptive. We also need the reminder that behind every cultural slogan or rainbow flag is a spiritual struggle. This will keep us prayerful and dependent on God’s power, not merely our reasoning abilities. It will also kindle our compassion, as we see people “harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36).
Let us envision the church not as an antagonistic fortress flinging stones at those outside, but as a hospital for sinnerswith open doors, where the broken can come and find healing in Christ. That healing doesn’t come by affirming sin, but by loving sinners enough to tell them the truth and walk with them toward Christ. In this way, we live out Ephesians 4:15 – speaking the truth in love – and we trust God with the results. Some may reject us or label us hateful; we leave that in God’s hands and continue to love. Others, by God’s grace, will be drawn by the combination of our grace and truth to consider the claims of Christ. And by the miracle of new birth, we will be able to rejoice with those who say, “I once was lost, but now am found”.
In the end, compassion without compromise reflects the very heart of the gospel. The gospel tells the truth about our sin more directly than any other message – yet offers more compassion through the cross than any other solution. May we hold fast to the gospel as we engage our LGBTQ+ neighbors. With clarity of conviction, warmth of compassion, and unwavering confidence in Christ, we can be faithful ambassadors in this critical area, knowing that the battle belongs to the Lord and that His desire is to rescue and redeem. As we continue this series, we will delve further into specific facets of these issues – next, examining the topic of transgender identity – building on the foundation of truth and love we have laid here. For now, let us remember Paul’s charge and Christ’s example, and commit ourselves to speak the truth in lovein every conversation, so that in all things Christ might be seen in us.
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References
Butterfield, R. (2012). The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert. Crown & Covenant.
Grudem, W. (2018). Christian Ethics: An Introduction to Biblical Moral Reasoning. Crossway. (See especially Chapter 33, “Homosexuality and Transgenderism,” pp. 853–886)
Heiser, M. S. (2015). The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible. Lexham Press.
Shenvi, N. (2020). Social Justice, Critical Theory, and Christianity – Part 3. Retrieved from Shenvi Apologetics website: (discussion on critical theory vs. Christianity and identity).
Trueman, C. R. (2020). The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution. Crossway.
Yuan, C. (2018). Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story. Multnomah. (Quote on p. 47 about holiness as the opposite of homosexuality)
