Part 4 of Marriage and Family
Scripture: Ephesians 6:12
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12, LSB). With this statement, the Apostle Paul pulls back the curtain on reality: behind our visible conflicts and cultural upheavals, there is an invisible spiritual war raging. In no arena is this more evident than the assault on the family in our times. The redefinition of marriage, the confusion of gender, the normalization of sexual immorality, the rise of ideologies that pit children against parents or reject the very concept of family—all these are not random social trends but part of a concerted strategy by Satan, the enemy of our souls. The family was God’s first institution, the bedrock of society and the cradle for passing down faith (Genesis 1:27-28, Deuteronomy 6:6-7). It is no surprise that the forces of darkness target it fiercely. As the Colson Center notes, “If you can dismantle the family, you can unravel society” (Breakpoint, 2021). The stakes are high: broken or confused families yield broken and confused individuals, who collectively form a broken society susceptible to evil.
In this article, we will diagnose key ideological and cultural forces—what might be called “doctrines of demons” (1 Timothy 4:1)—that amount to an assault on the family. These include the philosophy of expressive individualism (the idol of self), radical gender ideology (the denial of God’s male-female design), and critical theories that sow division (e.g., critical race theory’s undermining of the nuclear family as “western” or oppressive ). We will see how these ideas are not morally neutral, but are tools in the hands of “the father of lies” (John 8:44) to deceive and destroy. Then, more importantly, we will outline how believers can engage this spiritual battle: not with physical force or mere political zeal, but with truth, love, prayer, and holy living. Paul tells us to put on the full armor of God (Eph 6:13-18) – we’ll consider what that means in context of fighting for our families. Our tone is unapologetically confrontational toward falsehood, yet compassionate toward those ensnared by it. Like Nehemiah’s builders, we hold a trowel in one hand and a sword in the other (Nehemiah 4:17): ready to build godly families and defend against spiritual attack simultaneously.
Ideologies as Spiritual Strongholds
Scripture warns that false ideas can capture minds and set themselves up against the knowledge of God (2 Corinthians 10:4-5). Let’s examine a few major ideologies today through a spiritual warfare lens:
Expressive Individualism – “Self is God”: This term, popularized by scholar Robert Bellah and expanded by philosopher Charles Taylor, describes the modern creed that authenticity to one’s inner feelings and desires is the highest good. Carl Trueman (2020) traces how this mindset has come to dominate our culture . In practice, it means society preaches: “Follow your heart,” “Be true to yourself,” and “Live your truth.” While it sounds empowering, this ethos undermines the family profoundly. Why? Because family life—marriage and parenting—requires self-denial and commitment to others’ good. Expressive individualism says my fulfillment is paramount, so if a marriage no longer “makes me happy,” I can abandon it (thus fueling divorce culture). It says if children cramp my style, I can neglect or abort them (thus fueling abortion and childlessness-by-choice trends). The philosophy elevates personal desires above covenantal duties. Clearly, this contradicts Christ’s call to deny yourself (Luke 9:23) and the very essence of covenant love (which is about promise-keeping and sacrifice). The spiritual lie at the core here is the same lie the serpent told Eve: “You shall be as God” (Genesis 3:5), determining for yourself right and wrong. Expressive individualism enthrones the self, essentially making feelings into a god to be obeyed. As Trueman and others note, it also paved the way for the sexual revolution—if sexual desires define your identity, then moral boundaries (like marital fidelity or heterosexual normativity) are seen as oppressive to your “true self” . Thus, expressive individualism is a root that gives rise to many anti-family fruits: serial cohabitation, pornography use (seeking pleasure without relational responsibility), and more. It is a “worldly philosophy” to be rejected (Colossians 2:8). Neil Shenvi points out that the biblical worldview frames our identity not in subjective feelings but in objective reality: created in God’s image, yet fallen in sin, and redeemable in Christ . In spiritual terms, expressive individualism is essentially humanism repackaged—a form of pride and idolatry of self. We combat it by re-centering on God’s authority and design, teaching our families that true freedom comes from obedience to God, not unfettered self-expression (John 8:32,36).
Radical Gender Ideology – “Deny God’s Design”: In the last decade, we’ve seen an unprecedented surge of gender confusion. The idea that biological sex can be severed from “gender identity” (leading to statements like “trans women are women” meaning males can be females, etc.) has swept through academia, media, and policy. This ideology asserts that gender is a social construct, not a God-given reality, and that individuals (including children) should choose their gender (with some pushing medical interventions like puberty blockers and surgeries to “transition”). Make no mistake: this is a direct attack on God’s creation order. Genesis 1:27 – “Male and female He created them” – is foundational. Our bodies are not arbitrary; they are integral to who we are and to the family structure (Mark 10:6-8). The family as an institution hinges on the complementarity of male and female producing offspring. The transgender movement, by blurring or erasing gender distinctions, undermines the very concept of motherhood, fatherhood, and by extension the stability of the family. If “mother” and “father” become fluid concepts, the family loses its definitional moorings. From a spiritual perspective, we discern the fingerprints of the deceiver in this confusion. The enemy who hates the image of God loves to see humans reject their God-given identity and mutilate the bodies God formed. Dr. André Heiser (2015) notes that spiritual warfare often centers on distorting the image of God in humanity . Our creation as male and female in covenant marriage is a primary image of God (reflecting Trinity-like unity in diversity, and Christ-Church union per Ephesians 5:32). No wonder Satan attacks it with fervor. The church must lovingly but firmly resist gender ideology, not only because it’s false, but because it harms those it ensnares (many ex-transgender individuals testify to deeper depression and physical harm post-transition, realizing it didn’t solve their dysphoria). This is spiritual oppression disguised as liberation. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us the battle is not against the confused individuals (they are not our enemies; they are captives needing rescue), but against demonic powers promoting lies. We respond with truth: teaching our children early and often that their bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that being male or female is a precious gift, and that society’s claims otherwise are false. We also respond with prayer, as only Holy Spirit can open blinded eyes. Notably, Paul says we must also don the “belt of truth” and “breastplate of righteousness” (Eph 6:14) – meaning we must live out sexual and gender integrity ourselves to have moral credibility in this fight (e.g., honoring marriage, walking in purity).
Critical Theories and Cultural Marxism – “Children vs. Parents, Society vs. Family”: Another front in the battle is the rise of ideologies that view the traditional family with suspicion or hostility, often rooted in neo-Marxist thought. Classic Marxism sought to abolish the nuclear family, seeing it as an extension of capitalist property (Engels called the monogamous family a tool of class oppression). Today’s critical theories (covering race, gender, queer theory, etc.) similarly often critique the family as a unit of oppression. For example, prominent critical race theorists have listed the “nuclear family structure” as a construct of white supremacy to be disrupted . The Black Lives Matter organization’s original platform (before scrubbing due to backlash) explicitly stated the aim to “disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure” . Why would they target the family in a movement ostensibly about racial justice? Because underlying much of CRT is critical theory, which divides society into oppressors and oppressed along group identities and views any norm (including the norm of married father-mother homes) as an imposed hegemonic power structure. Williams & Perkins (2020) note that this kind of ideology elevates group identity and grievance above individual responsibility and often encourages dependence on the state over intact families . The result is policies and cultural attitudes that weaken family bonds (for instance, discouraging paternal responsibility by assuming government welfare can be “dad,” or encouraging kids to see their parents as backward if they hold traditional beliefs). Also, critical gender theory tries to insert wedge between parent and child by asserting children have rights to “gender-affirming” treatments even against parental consent. All of this chaos and rebellion fits the pattern of spiritual war. Ephesians 6:12 calls the devil’s hosts “powers of this dark world” – they use any ideology (be it Marxism, or extreme feminism that casts men as the enemy, etc.) to create chaos and turn hearts away from God’s design. Isaiah 5:20 warns “woe to those who call evil good and good evil” – critical theories often label the good (family unity, parental authority, biblical morality) as bad (oppressive, patriarchal, etc.), and celebrate what is harmful (fatherlessness, sexual promiscuity, etc.) as liberation. As Shenvi & Sawyer (2023) point out, these ideologies function almost as alternative religions with their own sin (oppression), salvation (activism), and savior (the state or revolution) . Christians must unmask these ideas as counterfeits to the gospel.
We combat them first by renewing our minds in Scripture so we’re not taken captive (Rom 12:2, Col 2:8). Also, by teaching a robust biblical worldview to our children—including biblical justice versus worldly justice (so they don’t fall prey to false virtue-signaling movements) and biblical unity of the human race (so they resist divisive race## Standing Firm: Fighting for the Family in God’s Armor
Given these powerful spiritual assaults, how can Christians respond? Ephesians 6 not only unveils the battle, but also prescribes our battle plan: “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil” (Eph. 6:11). In practical terms, standing firm for our families in this spiritual war involves several key strategies:
- Wear the Belt of Truth (Eph. 6:14a): We must steadfastly hold to God’s truth about marriage, gender, and family, even when it’s counter-cultural. This means teaching our children and congregations what Scripture says – clearly and positively. Rather than only reacting to lies, we proactively ground ourselves in the beautiful truths of God’s design: that marriage is a reflection of Christ and the Church, that God created humans male and female with purposeful distinctions, that children are a blessing to be nurtured, and that self-denial and service lead to joy. We lovingly expose cultural lies in light of Scripture. For example, when expressive individualism says “Live for yourself,” we counter with Jesus’ words “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:25). When gender ideology says “your body is irrelevant to your identity,” we reply with the truth that our bodies are integral and “temples of the Holy Spirit” (1 Cor. 6:19). Saturating our homes and churches in biblical truth acts as a bulwark against deception . This includes being informed; Christians can read resources like Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearcey or Thaddeus Williams’ Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth to understand and articulate answers . We stand firm intellectually by “destroying arguments” raised against God (2 Cor. 10:4-5), always with gentleness and respect (1 Pet. 3:15).
- Guard Our Hearts with the Breastplate of Righteousness (Eph. 6:14b): A holy and upright life protects us from the enemy’s attacks. Nothing undermines our defense of the family more than hypocrisy or moral failure within our own ranks. If we preach family values but indulge in pornography or adultery, the enemy gains a foothold and our witness crumbles. Thus, spiritual warfare for the family starts with our own repentance and purity. Husbands and wives must honor their vows; parents must repent of any harsh or ungodly parenting patterns; single Christians must pursue sexual purity. By God’s grace we strive to “shine as lights” in a corrupt generation (Phil. 2:15), demonstrating by example that God’s way leads to human flourishing. Righteous living also gives us credibility when engaging the public square. As Peter writes, those who revile Christians “will be put to shame by your good behavior” (1 Pet. 3:16). In a practical sense, this means building strong marriages through love and forgiveness, raising our children with both discipline and compassion, and managing our homes with integrity (1 Tim. 3:4-5). A family that genuinely loves one another and serves the Lord together is a fortress the devil cannot easily penetrate. Our faithfulness is itself spiritual warfare, for it pushes back darkness in our little domain.
- Advance with the Gospel of Peace (Eph. 6:15): We must remember that ultimately our goal is not to “win culture wars” but to win souls. The family is worth defending in part because it is God’s vehicle for discipleship and blessing; when families thrive under God, the gospel is adorned. Therefore, we engage cultural issues with an evangelistic heart. We speak the truth about sin and society because we desire people to find reconciliation with God—the source of true peace. For instance, when addressing someone caught in gender confusion or someone promoting Marxist ideas, our endgame is not to beat them in an argument but to lovingly point them to Christ, in whom their deepest needs are met. Isaiah 61:1 says the Spirit anointed Christ “to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives.” Many who champion anti-family ideologies are themselves brokenhearted or captive to deception; they need the liberating peace of Christ. So we put on the readiness of the gospel: we stay ready to share the good news at PTA meetings, in college classrooms, on social media — wherever the battle rages. Rather than mere anger at darkness, we shine light. For example, instead of only decrying high divorce rates, we offer marriage seminars at church and invite neighbors (showing how Christ-centered marriage works). Instead of merely criticizing comprehensive sex-ed in schools, we proactively teach our kids a better, biblical vision of sex and then encourage their friends to a youth event to hear it too. In short, we fight not just defensively but offensively by spreading the gospel, which alone transforms hearts and thereby strengthens families.
- Take Up the Shield of Faith (Eph. 6:16): The “flaming arrows” of the evil one today include fear, discouragement, and the pressure of being in the cultural minority. We need faith to extinguish them – faith that God is with us and that His design will ultimately be vindicated. When we hear constant negative news (like legal threats to religious liberty or the latest anti-family law passed), it’s easy to feel panic or defeat. The shield of faith says: “God is sovereign; He has overcome the world” (John 16:33). We trust that as we obey, the results belong to Him. This frees us from frantic anxiety and enables us to stand with calm assurance like Nehemiah’s men who built the wall with a weapon in hand, confident that “Our God will fight for us” (Neh. 4:20). Faith also means we bathe our efforts in prayer, knowing this battle is ultimately the Lord’s. When under spiritual attack – be it a rebellious teen at home or ridicule from colleagues for our beliefs – we respond by praying with faith for God’s intervention, rather than reacting in the flesh with mere anger or fear. As the early church prayed for boldness under threat (Acts 4:29), we too pray for courage to keep speaking and living truth no matter the opposition, believing God will work in the hearts of observers.
- Put on the Helmet of Salvation (Eph. 6:17a): The helmet protects the head – our mindset. We must maintain a biblical mindset anchored in our salvation hope. This means keeping an eternal perspective. We know history is headed somewhere: Jesus will return as King and set all things right. This hope guards us from despair. It also guards us from being seduced by worldly visions of “progress.” Many anti-family movements promise a utopia (e.g., a socialist equality or sexual “freedom”), but these are false salvations. Our hope of true justice and peace rests in Christ’s coming Kingdom (Rev. 21:3-5). With that helmet, we can engage charitably even with opponents, because we’re not ultimately dependent on them to enact God’s plan. Salvation’s assurance also means we do not fight from a place of insecurity about our identity – we know whose we are. That frees us from taking attacks personally. If labeled a “bigot” or “outdated,” we don’t let it wound our core; our mind is guarded by knowing we are children of God, accepted by Him (Eph. 1:5-6). This steadiness of mind is crucial in an age when emotional outrage dominates. We respond with reasoned conviction and “sound mind” (2 Tim. 1:7) because our salvation in Christ steadies our thinking.
- Wield the Sword of the Spirit – the Word of God (Eph. 6:17b): God’s Word is our one offensive weapon, and it is mighty. Jesus countered Satan’s temptations by quoting Scripture (Matt. 4:4-10); we must do the same with the devil’s lies today. This means we actively use Scripture in debate, discipleship, and intercession. For example, when confronting the lie that “marriage is a mere human construct,” we don’t just say “I disagree” – we declare “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female… ‘the two shall become one flesh’” (Matt. 19:4-5). God’s Word carries authority that our opinions lack . In family devotions, we should memorize and proclaim verses that fortify our household against attacks (e.g., “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD,” Josh. 24:15). In public forums, we should not be ashamed to bring God’s Word to bear (Isaiah 55:11 promises it will not return void). Additionally, we use the Word in prayer – quoting promises as we ask God to save our prodigal children or to push back evil agendas. The book of Acts shows the early Christians praying Scripture (Acts 4:25-26) and then seeing God shake things up. Hebrews 4:12 says the Word is “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword,” able to penetrate hearts. In spiritual warfare for the family, this penetration is key: it’s how a hardened ideologue can suddenly be “cut to the heart” and repent (Acts 2:37). We should therefore saturate our engagements with Scripture – whether in personal conversations or online writing – trusting the Spirit to use His sword effectively.
- Pray at All Times in the Spirit (Eph. 6:18): Finally, Paul emphasizes unceasing prayer as the atmosphere in which all armor is worn. We must intercede relentlessly for our families and for our nation. Prayer is how we deploy heavenly forces into the fray . For instance, when we see marriages around us struggling, do we simply lament, or do we war in prayer on their behalf? When a new school curriculum threatens to confuse our kids, yes we take responsible action by voicing concerns, but do we also hit our knees and ask God to protect the minds of a generation? Daniel 10 intriguingly portrays an answer to prayer coming after a heavenly battle. Likewise, some spiritual victories (a teen kept from apostasy, a harmful policy reversed) will only come through persistent prayer and perhaps fasting. We pray “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:10) – specifically applying it to family matters. We pray for government leaders (1 Tim. 2:1-2) to have wisdom to uphold family-friendly justice. We pray for church leaders to have courage to speak on tough issues with love. We pray for those caught in sin to be delivered (James 5:16). And we pray for the enemy’s schemes to be thwarted: “Deliver us from the evil one” (Matt. 6:13). Prayer is not a last resort; it is our continual strategy, the means by which God’s power enters our battles.
In all these ways – truth-telling, holy living, gospel-sharing, faith-holding, Scriptural reasoning, and constant prayer – we engage the spiritual battle for the family. We do not fight with the weapons of the flesh (anger, coercion, hatred), but with these divinely powerful weapons (2 Cor. 10:3-4). The tone of our engagement matters. Paul says we must “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15) and “with gentleness correct opponents” (2 Tim. 2:25). The enemy would love for us to fight his lies with worldly anger or pride, as that only generates more darkness. Instead, we remember that the people who promote anti-family ideologies are not the enemy – they are prisoners of the enemy. We aim to liberate, not annihilate. Thus, while we absolutely stand firm and “refuse to be conformed to this world” (Rom. 12:2), we do so with the hope of seeing captives set free to join God’s family.
Importantly, we engage as people of hope, not despair. Yes, the cultural tide seems strong, but “He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). Throughout history, the church has often been a minority voice speaking against corrupt majorities – and in time, by God’s grace, the truth has prevailed. The early church’s steadfast example of strong marriages, care for children (rescuing abandoned infants, etc.), and brotherly love eventually upended a pagan Roman culture . We can trust that our labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Cor. 15:58). Even if we do not see immediate change, we know the final outcome: Christ will restore all things, including the family to its honored place. Every Christian home that resists the darkness is a beachhead of the coming Kingdom.
So we do not shrink back. We stand, armored up, together as the people of God. We encourage each other – as Nehemiah told his workers, “Do not be afraid… remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses” (Neh. 4:14). We fight on our knees and with our lives. And we trust our Champion, Jesus Christ, who has “disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public display of them” through the cross (Col. 2:15). The decisive battle has been won at Calvary; now we apply that victory in the spiritual skirmishes of our day. As we contend for the family, we do so not with a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7).
In the end, the assault on the family will fail. “The kingdom of this world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ” (Rev. 11:15). Until then, we occupy faithfully. We build godly families as an act of spiritual warfare, trusting that the “gates of hell shall not prevail” against Christ’s church (Matt. 16:18) – and by extension, against the smallest unit of the church, the Christian family. With our households under the blood of the Lamb (Ex. 12:7,13), we encourage one another to stand firm. “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Cor. 16:13). The Lord of Hosts is with us in the fight, and “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom. 8:31).
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References
Breakpoint. (2021, August 12). Rediscovering the Family. Colson Center for Christian Worldview.
Heiser, M. S. (2015). The Unseen Realm: Recovering the Supernatural Worldview of the Bible. Lexham Press.
Pearcey, N. (2018). Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions about Life and Sexuality. Baker Books.
Shenvi, N., & Sawyer, P. (2023). Critical Dilemma: The Rise of Critical Theories and Social Justice Ideology. Harvest House.
Trueman, C. R. (2020). The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution. Crossway.
Williams, T. J., & Perkins, J. M. (2020). Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth: 12 Questions Christians Should Ask About Social Justice. Zondervan.
