Part 2 of Marriage and Family
Scripture: Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child according to his way, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6, LSB). This wise proverb encapsulates the heart of biblical parenting: to disciple children in the way of the Lord, trusting that early spiritual formation will bear fruit in a lasting faith. Yet Christian parents today face a daunting challenge. We are raising children in a cultural climate often described as post-Christian—a society in which biblical values are no longer the norm but rather the exception. The Judeo-Christian worldview that once provided a shared moral framework in the West has eroded rapidly. In its place, our children are bombarded with secular and relativistic messages at school, in media, and from peers. Many young people who grow up in church find their faith under assault in universities or online forums, and sadly, a significant number abandon that faith by adulthood.
How can Christian parents fulfill the charge of Proverbs 22:6 amid such headwinds? How do we raise godly children when the surrounding culture often opposes or even ridicules our beliefs? This article addresses Parenting in a Post-Christian World from a biblically faithful, theologically informed, and pastoral perspective. We will discuss the role of parents as primary disciple-makers in the home, identify key cultural challenges (such as secular ideologies and digital influences), and offer practical strategies for nurturing a robust Christian worldview in our kids. Our tone is both candid and hopeful. While the times are indeed perilous for families, God’s Word and Spirit equip us for the task. Like Nehemiah’s workers rebuilding Jerusalem’s wall, parents today must build with one hand and hold the sword of truth in the other (Nehemiah 4:17)—actively instructing our children while vigilantly guarding against threats to their hearts and minds.
Seasoned pastor Charles Spurgeon once quipped, “He who thinks it easy to bring up a family never had one of his own. A mother who trains her children aright had need be wiser than Solomon, for his son turned out a fool.”Spurgeon’s humorous remark rings true: parenting is not for the naive or faint of heart, especially in this complex age. But thankfully, as he goes on to note, God has not left parents to “grope about” on their own—Scripture provides abundant wisdom for this “exalted task” . Let us, then, explore how we can disciple our children amid a post-Christian culture, drawing insight from God’s unchanging truth and applying it to our changing world.
Discipleship Begins at Home
The Bible consistently places the primary responsibility for training children on parents. While churches and schools can support, nothing replaces a mom or dad imparting faith and values day in and day out. Moses instructed the Israelites: “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sonsand shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7, emphasis added). Notice, this command was given not to priests or rabbis, but to parents as they go about normal life at home. The picture is of a continual, informal instruction—scripture and godly principles woven into daily routines (mealtimes, travel, bedtime). Similarly, Ephesians 6:4 exhorts, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The Greek for “bring them up” implies nourishment—parents are to nurture children’s souls with biblical teaching and correction, just as they nourish their bodies with food. This is intentional discipleship. It involves teaching God’s Word, modeling godly character, correcting misbehavior, and encouraging children in righteousness.
In a post-Christian context, parental discipleship is more crucial than ever because the surrounding culture no longer reinforces (and often actively contradicts) what we aim to instill. There was a time when basic Christian moral teachings (honesty, respect, sexual chastity, the sanctity of life, etc.) were mirrored in public values to a degree. Now, that moral consensus has fragmented. We cannot assume our kids will “catch” virtue from society at large. If we do not intentionally teach them God’s truth, rest assured the world will unintentionally (or intentionally) teach them its lies. As apologist Natasha Crain observes, we must “talk with our kids about God more often and more effectively than the culture talks to them about unbelief” (Crain, 2022, p. 19). In practice, this means parents creating consistent space for biblical instruction: reading Scripture together, discussing sermons, answering questions about faith, and praying as a family. It doesn’t require a seminary degree—just a willing heart and consistency. Even the simplest moments, like pausing to pray about a tough day at school or relating a Bible story to a current event, can powerfully shape a child’s perception of the world.
Crucially, parents’ example sets the tone. Children are astute observers; they will detect if we live out what we preach. If we tell them God is a priority but never prioritize Him in our own schedules, our words ring hollow. On the other hand, when kids see Dad waking up early to read Scripture, or Mom praying earnestly for a neighbor, it leaves an indelible mark. Research supports this: studies by the Barna Group and others indicate that parents’ authenticity in faith practice is one of the strongest predictors of whether children remain in the faith as adults (Barna, 2019). One study shockingly found that only 2% of parents of preteens in America have a biblical worldview (Barna, 2022) – a statistic that suggests many Christian parents themselves lack deep grounding. We cannot give what we do not possess. Therefore, discipleship in the home begins with our discipleship. As parents, are we continually growing in God’s Word and connecting with Christ? Proverbs 22:6 implies a promise that training will have a lasting impact, but it assumes there is genuine training happening – both in word and lifestyle.
Before looking outward at the culture, we do well to look inward at our family habits. Do we have a rhythm of family devotions or at least spiritual conversations? If not, consider starting small: perhaps a weekly night where you read a Bible passage or a story from a children’s devotional and talk about it. Encourage questions and make it interactive. Memorizing scripture together can also be fruitful; children’s minds are sponges for memory. For example, memorizing the Ten Commandments or the Lord’s Prayer as a family provides common spiritual vocabulary and opens discussion on what those truths mean in everyday life. The key is diligence and heart-engagement. “Teach them diligently,” God said – it will not happen by accident. But neither is it a hyper-formal endeavor; as Deuteronomy shows, it’s in the midst of ordinary life. Faith is “caught” as much as taught. A home where Christ is genuinely loved and referenced will make an impression that an hour of Sunday school cannot match. Pastor Voddie Baucham has pointed out the tragedy that many Christian parents essentially outsource spiritual training to the church, which gets maybe 1–2 hours a week with the child, while the school and media get dozens of hours and the parents themselves invest little time (Baucham, 2007, p. 120). This imbalance must be corrected in a post-Christian age. The home must become the primary school of Christian formation. The church can equip and encourage (and should! Titus 2:4–5 urges older women to help train the young women in loving their children, etc.), but parents are on the “front lines.”
Challenges of a Secular Culture
While parents do their best to create a godly home environment, the reality is our children step out into a broader culture that often promotes values contrary to our faith. Today’s kids are inundated with messages through many channels. Let’s identify a few major challenges:
1. Secular Humanism in Education: Public school curricula, in most Western nations, are taught from a secular humanist perspective. This means God is either ignored or implicitly ruled out as irrelevant. Subjects like biology may teach evolutionary theory as the total explanation for life’s origins (with no mention of a Creator). History classes may sanitize or omit the positive role of Christianity in civilization. More concerning, sex education often presents sexual experimentation, LGBTQ identities, and gender fluidity as normal and healthy, clashing with the biblical ethic of sexuality reserved for marriage between a man and woman. Proverbs 22:6 says “according to his way” – implying that if a child is “trained” in a secular way, that too will have abiding effects (for ill). Christian parents must recognize that schooling is not worldview-neutral. Even well-meaning teachers operate within a system that is “post-Christian.” Thus, we should be involved and aware. Some may choose homeschooling or Christian schooling to control the influences. Others who stay in public school should actively counter-teach at home. Ask your kids what they learned in school and discuss it critically through a biblical lens. For instance, if they learned humans are just advanced animals shaped by evolution, gently introduce Genesis 1:27 and discuss the evidence of design in nature (perhaps using age-appropriate apologetics materials). If health class promotes gender ideology (“you can choose your gender”), reaffirm God’s good creation of male and female (Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139) and the truth that our bodies are integral to who we are. These conversations may feel awkward, but it is far better that your child hears your voice on these issues first, grounded in truth and love, than only hearing the world’s voice.
2. Digital Media and the Internet: Unlike any previous generation, today’s youth carry around a portal to virtually unlimited content in their pocket. The average American teen spends over 7 hours a day on screens (Common Sense Media, 2019). Through YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and other platforms, they are exposed to myriad ideas and influencers. Some of these are benign entertainment, but many propagate values – often subtly. The culture of expressive individualism (“follow your heart”), moral relativism (“your truth is your truth”), and identity politics seeps in through media. Additionally, outright hostility to Christianity is common online. A teenager searching a question about faith on Google is as likely to find a skeptical YouTuber’s rant as a thoughtful Christian answer. We must therefore mentor our children in wise media consumption. This includes setting appropriate boundaries (knowing what apps they use, using filters or accountability software, limiting screen time in favor of real-life family interaction) and teaching discernment. Instead of trying to shield children from every potential bad idea (an impossible task), teach them to critically evaluate ideas. When watching a movie or show together, discuss the worldview: “What is this story saying about what’s important in life? Does it align with God’s truth?” As they grow older, you can analyze popular slogans like “love is love” or “YOLO – you only live once” and compare them with Scripture. Encourage them to ask questions about faith rather than suppressing doubts. If they encounter an atheist argument online (and many will, perhaps through a friend or social media), let them know no question is off-limits at home. Better to wrestle with those issues with a loving parent than alone. Neil Shenvi notes that many secular ideologies today (like critical theory) provide an identity and community to young people, which can be appealing (Shenvi & Sawyer, 2023, pp. 50–55). We should strive to give our children a stronger identity in Christ (“You are a child of God, made in His image, loved and redeemed”) and a warm community in the home and church, so they are less tempted to seek belonging in harmful ideologies.
3. Moral Relativism and Peer Pressure: The post-Christian ethos tells young people that morality is subjective – “you do you.” As a result, behaviors once widely regarded as sinful or unhealthy are celebrated. Casual sex, pornography use, underage drinking, disrespect for authority – these are often portrayed as normal teen behavior in mainstream culture. If our children strive to live righteously, they may be mocked as naïve or labeled with names like “bigot” (for not endorsing LGBTQ practices) or “prude” (for abstaining from premarital sex). This peer pressure is powerful. Proverbs 13:20 cautions, “the companion of fools will suffer harm.” We must teach our kids that being a Christian will make them stand out. 1 Peter 4:4 speaks of unbelievers being surprised that Christians “do not run with them into the same excesses,” and sometimes maligning them for it. Our children need to expect that following Jesus means going against the flow (Matthew 7:13–14). This is hard for a young person who naturally yearns to fit in. Thus, an antidote is giving them a strong sense of Christian community and purpose. If they have solid friendships among fellow believers (peers who share their values), they won’t feel alone in the struggle. This is where involvement in a healthy church youth group or Christian club can help. Moreover, if they understand why we refrain from certain behaviors – not just “because the Bible says so,” but because God’s ways lead to life and human flourishing – they are more likely to hold convictions. For example, explaining the beauty of God’s design for sex within marriage, and the emotional/spiritual damage that promiscuity can cause, will help them see our sexual ethic not as arbitrary restriction but as loving protection (Yuan, 2018, pp. 95–100). Likewise, rather than simply forbidding bad company, we can role-play or talk through scenarios: “What could you say if offered a vape at school?” or “How might you respond if a friend insists that ‘everyone cheats on exams’?” By preparing them with gracious assertiveness, we equip them to handle peer pressure with integrity.
4. Expressive Individualism and Identity Confusion: As Carl Trueman chronicled, the modern self is taught to look inward for identity and meaning . Our kids hear messages like “be true to yourself” and “follow your heart” constantly. The result is many young people feel they must create their own identity (sexual, gender, furries, gamers, you name it) rather than receiving an identity grounded in creation and family. This can even lead to rejecting their own bodies (hence the surge in transgender identification among teens). Christian parents should proactively affirm where our true identity lies. According to Scripture, our core identity is not our feelings or attractions or social media persona—it is being made in God’s image and, for believers, being in Christ. We need to tell our children from early on: “You are God’s workmanship, intentionally made as a boy or girl for His glory” (Psalm 139:13–14). We also must model finding our identity in Christ rather than in career or material success. If kids see parents chasing status or defining worth by accomplishments, they will likely mimic that. But if they see that our value and joy come from being loved by God and loving Him, they will have a counter-narrative to the culture’s identity confusion. One practical way is celebrating faith milestones more than secular achievements—e.g., rejoicing greatly when your child shows kindness or makes a decision to follow Christ, not just when they get good grades or sports wins. This subtly communicates what matters most. Additionally, address topics like gender and sexuality with truth and compassion at age-appropriate levels. By late elementary, children should know that God made humans male and female, and that this binary design is purposeful and good (Genesis 1:27, Matthew 19:4). They should also hear from you (rather than exclusively from media) about topics like homosexuality or transgender claims, framed by biblical truth and love for people. For instance: “Some people feel inside that they are the opposite gender. That is a very painful feeling. The Bible tells us our bodies are made by God and are good, even if our feelings confuse us. We should have compassion on people who feel this way, but also remember God’s design is best.” These are not easy conversations, but if we don’t have them, TikTok will!
Strategies for Godly Parenting Today
Having surveyed the challenges, we now turn to practical strategies. By God’s grace, it is entirely possible to raise faithful children in a faithless world (just ask Noah or Daniel!). Here are some approaches for discipling our kids amid secular culture:
- Make Your Home a Sanctuary of Truth and Love: Aim for an atmosphere where biblical truth is revered and spoken of naturally. Display verses on the walls. Keep Bibles within reach. Encourage questions and have discussions at the dinner table. Equally important, let your home be filled with love and grace. Children’s hearts soften to our teaching when they feel our unconditional love. Colossians 3:21 warns fathers “do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Rules without relationship can breed rebellion. So hug your kids often, laugh with them, listen to their stories, apologize when you as a parent fail. A warm, loving home gives them a taste of God’s fatherly love and makes biblical values attractive.
- Develop a Family Worldview Routine: In addition to regular devotions, consider a weekly “Worldview Wednesday” (for example) where you intentionally tackle a cultural or apologetics topic. This could involve reading a short article or watching a video together, then discussing. For younger kids, you might pick a Bible story and draw out a truth that contrasts with culture (e.g., creation vs. evolution from Genesis 1). For teens, you might discuss current news from a Christian perspective or go through a book like Cold-Case Christianity for Teens or Talking with Your Kids about Jesus. The idea is to equip them with answers and critical thinking. Over time, this builds a mental library in your child’s mind: when they encounter a challenge or question “out there,” they recall “I talked about this with Mom/Dad.” As an example, one father regularly read with his 13-year-old son short chapters from The Case for Christ: Student Edition and then asked his son to “play skeptic” while he played “apologist,” and vice versa. This fun role-play prepared the boy to defend his faith at school. Be creative and adapt to your child’s learning style.
- Immerse Your Children in Scripture and Prayer: There is no substitute for the Word of God itself. Encourage personal Bible reading as soon as they can read. For younger ones, read lots of Bible stories. As a family, memorize verses together (perhaps one per week) – this plants seeds that the Holy Spirit can later use to convict and guide them (Psalm 119:11). Also, make prayer a regular practice: not just at meals, but in all sorts of occasions. If your child is anxious about a test, stop and pray with them. If they tell you about a conflict with a friend, pray about it together. This teaches them that God is the first resort, not the last. It ingrains a God-consciousness in daily life. Over time, they learn to turn to God themselves. One mother shares that when her teenage daughter started at a new (very secular) high school, they would pray each morning during the drive specifically that she would have courage to live out her faith and that God would bring her likeminded friends. God answered: the girl met two other Christian students and formed a small prayer group. Praying together for our kids and with our kids is powerful.
- Engage in Service and Mission as a Family: One way to inoculate against self-centered secularism is to get your family serving others. Volunteer together at a soup kitchen, visit nursing home residents, or participate in church outreaches. This does two things: (a) it puts faith into action, preventing the hypocrisy of “faith is just talk,” and (b) it helps children see the world through compassionate, missional eyes, not consumeristic ones. It also combats the entitlement mentality so prevalent today. When a child helps those less fortunate, they gain perspective on their own blessings and see God’s love in action. Additionally, involve your kids in intellectual “mission” too – perhaps by hosting a Bible study for their friends or inviting their questions. If a child knows their home is a safe place to bring non-Christian friends or tough questions, they are more likely to integrate their faith with the real world instead of compartmentalizing it.
- Guard Their Influences (Wisely): Proverbs 4:23 says “Watch over your heart with all diligence.” Parents must act as gatekeepers for what influences enter our children’s hearts, especially in their younger years. This includes monitoring entertainment (TV shows, music, books), setting healthy boundaries on internet use (as mentioned earlier), and knowing their friends and friends’ families. It may mean making counter-cultural choices, like limiting smartphone access or choosing certain schools or friend groups carefully. While we cannot (and should not) shelter kids from all exposure – they do need to learn to navigate the world – we can certainly delay and filter exposure to what their young minds aren’t ready to process. For example, if a certain popular show normalizes disrespect or occult themes, it is reasonable to say, “In our family, we don’t watch that, because it doesn’t honor God.” Explain in age-appropriate terms. At the same time, avoid a solely negative stance (“Don’t do this, don’t watch that”) without providing rich positive alternatives. Fill their lives with what is true, noble, and lovely (Philippians 4:8) – great books, wholesome movies, constructive hobbies, Christian fellowship. The goal is not to raise children in a bubble, but to give them a solid foundation and appropriate innocence in childhood so that when they do face the full blast of the world’s influence, they have the resilience to stand. J. Vernon McGee wisely said that we should “paint the beauty of Christ so clearly for our kids that the cheap imitations of the world hold no appeal” (McGee, 1988, p. 45). In practice, this might mean emphasizing the joy and freedom that comes from following Jesus, so they see Christianity not as just a list of prohibitions but as abundant life (John 10:10).
- Encourage Critical Thinking and Biblical Decision-Making: Instead of making every decision for your child as they grow, gradually coach them in making wise choices for themselves. For instance, when they become teenagers, involve them in setting some of their own boundaries under your guidance. Ask questions like, “How do you think a Christian should approach dating? Let’s search the Scriptures together and come up with a plan.” Or, “You’re getting older – what kind of media do you think is healthy or unhealthy for you to consume? Why?” By involving them in the reasoning process, they learn to internalize convictions rather than merely comply with external rules. This also shows respect for their maturing mind and builds trust. In a hostile culture, a young believer who understands the why behind God’s commands will hold up better than one who only knows the what. The book of Proverbs is essentially a parent (Solomon) teaching a young person to think wisely: “If sinners entice you, do not consent” (Prov 1:10) – but he explains the ruin that following sinners brings (Prov 1:18–19). Likewise, spell out consequences of choices when instructing your kids. Discuss real-life examples (in age-appropriate ways) of both wise and foolish decisions and their outcomes. These “case studies” make wisdom concrete.
Hope and Perseverance for Parents
Parenting has never been easy, and today’s complexities can easily overwhelm us. But we must remember: we are not alone in this task. God cares more about our children’s souls than even we do. He is able to reach their hearts in ways we cannot. Our job is to be faithful in teaching and modeling; the results we ultimately entrust to Him. *Post-Christian does not mean post-hope. The gospel remains “the power of God for salvation” (Romans 1:16), and many young people in Gen Z are, by God’s grace, coming to vibrant faith—often because of the faithful influence of a parent or mentor who poured into them.
It’s encouraging to recall biblical examples: Think of Timothy, who from childhood knew the Scriptures through his mother Eunice and grandmother Lois (2 Timothy 1:5, 3:15). They taught him despite living in a pagan Roman society, and their efforts prepared him to become a key leader in the early church. Or consider the parents of Moses, who in a hostile environment (Pharaoh’s edicts) hid him and undoubtedly taught him his Hebrew identity in those early years; Moses later, by faith, chose to suffer with God’s people rather than enjoy Egypt’s sins (Hebrews 11:23–27). Those seeds planted in childhood bore fruit decades later. The principle is that early training can yield late return. We may not see immediate evidence that our instruction “sticks”—especially during the teenage years when children begin to assert independence. They might question or push back against our values for a season. This is where parents must not panic or resort to anger, but continue to pray and dialogue. Joel 2:25 (the theme of Part 3) reminds us God can restore lost years; likewise, God can bring wandering children back to Himself. Our task is to keep pointing them to Jesus with both truth and grace, even if they temporarily tune us out. Never underestimate the cumulative effect of years of faithful parenting. As Proverbs 22:6 implies, it will not depart from them—they will not be able to shake the awareness of God’s truth implanted in their souls.
In practical terms, perseverance in parenting means not giving up when you see troubling signs or when your child makes a poor choice. It means continuing to intercede for them daily. Monica, the 4th-century mother of the wayward young man who became Saint Augustine, prayed relentlessly through years of his rebellion and worldly living. Her prayers and tears were answered when Augustine was radically converted to Christ, becoming one of the church’s greatest theologians. God is still in the business of answering parental prayers for prodigals. Even in our post-Christian era (perhaps especially in this era), earnest prayer is weapon number one. Pray for God to guard your child’s heart and mind (Philippians 4:7). Pray for wisdom (James 1:5) in your own parenting decisions and words. Pray for the Holy Spirit to draw your child to a personal, unshakable relationship with Christ—for that is the end goal, after all. We are not aiming merely for well-behaved kids; we desire redeemed kids who know and love Jesus.
In a moving scene, Spurgeon once addressed parents from the pulpit, saying in effect: Take heart, you who sow gospel seed in tears; you shall reap in joy. The promise of God to our efforts is not void. He encouraged parents that if they teach their children the fear of the Lord, they may expect God’s gracious blessing on that work in due time (Spurgeon, 1888, p. 14). While each person must choose Christ for themselves, our labor in teaching and modeling is used by God as part of their salvation story. What a dignifying thought: by parenting faithfully, we participate in the Great Commission at the most fundamental level—making disciples of our own little “nation” at home (cf. Matthew 28:19).
To recap, raising children in a post-Christian world calls us to be: intentional (diligently teaching God’s truth), relational(shepherding their hearts with love), vigilant (aware of cultural influences and ready to counter them), and prayerful(relying on God’s work beyond our own). This is a high calling indeed. At times we will feel our insufficiency. But those are the moments to remember God’s promise of grace: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Parenting drives us to dependence on God like little else. That in itself is part of oursanctification.
Finally, let’s encourage one another in the church community. Parents need support too in these times—mentors, friends, and pastors who can offer counsel and prayer. If you are struggling with a specific issue (say, a child’s doubt or behavioral problem), seek out wise, godly counsel rather than struggling alone. We are meant to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and that includes the burdens of parenthood. The family of God can be a tremendous resource for the nuclear family.
In conclusion, parenting in a post-Christian world is difficult but not defeated. By anchoring ourselves in Scripture and prayer, actively engaging the challenges of culture, and cultivating a home where Christ is honored and love is abundant, we can raise children who not only withstand the culture’s storms but shine as “lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15). The world desperately needs young Daniels and Esthers—servants of God who know whom they have believed and can articulately, compassionately represent Christ to their generation. By God’s grace, some of those future ambassadors are currently sitting at our dinner tables and riding in our cars to soccer practice. What a privilege and responsibility to disciple them! May we, like Joshua, declare in our homes, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15), trusting our faithful God to guide our children even when they eventually depart from our home into the world. The same Lord who kept and strengthened the early church’s young believers in a hostile Roman empire is alive and able to keep the next generation standing strong in this post-Christian age.
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References
Barna, G. (2022). American Worldview Inventory 2022: Biblical Worldview among Parents of Preteens. Arizona Christian University, Cultural Research Center.
Baucham, V. (2007). Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God. Crossway.
Common Sense Media. (2019). The Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens. Common Sense Media Research Report.
Crain, N. (2022). Talking with Your Kids about Jesus: 30 Conversations Every Christian Parent Must Have. Baker Books.
Grudem, W. (2018). Christian Ethics: An Introduction to Biblical Moral Reasoning. Crossway.
McGee, J. V. (1988). Thru the Bible with J. Vernon McGee, Vol. 5. Thomas Nelson.
Shenvi, N., & Sawyer, P. (2023). Critical Dilemma. Harvest House.
Spurgeon, C. H. (1888). God’s Hand in the Training of a Child (Sermon No. 2040). Passmore & Alabaster.
Yuan, C. (2018). Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story. Multnomah.
