Part 1 of Gender and Cultural Ideologies
Scripture: Ephesians 4:15
You’re sitting across from a coworker in the break room when it happens.
“I go by they/them now. Please respect that.”
The room goes quiet. Your heart races. You smile politely, but your thoughts swirl. Do I comply? Push back? Stay silent?
For millions of Christians, these moments are no longer theoretical—they’re happening in classrooms, Zoom calls, HR trainings, and family group texts. And they raise a profoundly difficult question:
Can I speak truth and still walk in love—without caving in or being cruel?
This post isn’t about politics. It’s about discipleship. And your response may be one of the most public theological statements you ever make.
Speaking the Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15)
Paul’s charge to the Ephesian believers is both striking and instructive:
“But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15, NASB).
The verse assumes two things:
- There is truth worth speaking.
- It must be spoken in love.
In the context of Ephesians 4, Paul is describing Christian maturity. Immature believers are “tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine,” while mature believers are marked by doctrinal clarity and relational charity. Truth and love are not enemies—they are the double helix of Christian growth.
So, when it comes to pronouns and gender identity, we don’t get to pick only one. We must tell the truth. And we must love people.
That’s not easy. But it is possible.
Pronouns as Confessional Speech
Let’s be clear: Preferred pronouns are not just polite terms—they are theological statements.
To refer to a biological male as “she” or “they” is not simply a social courtesy. It is a confessional act, aligning your words with a worldview that denies God’s design and authority over creation (Gen 1:27; Matt 19:4). You are bearing witness, either to truth—or to a lie.
This doesn’t mean we mock, shout, or shame. But it does mean we must not participate in falsehood, even if it’s dressed in civility.
Just as Daniel refused to eat the king’s food—not because food laws were ultimate, but because compromise with falsehood was unacceptable—so too must Christians today draw lines. Pronouns are not neutral. They proclaim something about who we are and who God is.
To use incorrect pronouns is not just an interpersonal concession—it is a theological compromise.
Kindness Without Capitulation
Refusing to use false pronouns doesn’t mean being rude or dismissive. It means finding truthful ways to love.
- Use the person’s name whenever possible.
- Avoid sarcastic or loaded language.
- Gently explain your reasons when appropriate: “I want to honor you as a person, but I can’t in good conscience speak what I believe to be false. I hope you can respect that.”
- Pray before the moment comes—and prepare your heart to suffer well if it costs you.
This isn’t just about grammar. It’s about forming habits of faithfulness in a world of confusion. We must disciple our tongues to be aligned with the Word—even when the culture demands we go silent or bend.
Speak with Courage, Stand with Christ
Here’s the truth: you will be misunderstood. Some will label you hateful or intolerant. But Jesus was called worse—for loving better.
The Church’s witness in a confused age isn’t just what we believe in our hearts, but what we say with our mouths. When the culture says, “Repeat after me,” the Christian must say, “I will speak the truth in love—even when it costs me.”
The world is watching. Let’s give them a reason to ask why we’re different.
Next→: Drag Queen Story Hour and the Battle for Innocence
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