Part 3 of Marriage and Family
Scripture: Joel 2:25
“Then I will compensate you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” (Joel 2:25, LSB). This promise from the Book of Joel radiates hope: God can restore what was lost and ruined. Though originally spoken to Israel, which had suffered devastation, the principle reveals God’s heart to heal and redeem. In our context, the “locusts” may well be the trials and traumas that devastate families—divorce, abandonment, abuse, addiction, strife. We live in a world where many homes are broken and many hearts carry the scars of family dysfunction. Perhaps you, or someone dear to you, grew up in a fractured family or are experiencing one now. The statistics are jarring. Roughly 40–50% of marriages end in divorce in the United States, and millions of children live without one or both biological parents. Fatherlessness, in particular, has reached epidemic levels in some communities—about 1 in 4 children in the U.S. live without a dad in the home (U.S. Census, 2020). Such brokenness often perpetuates cycles of hurt: children from fractured families are statistically more vulnerable to poverty, behavioral problems, dropping out of school, and experiencing divorce themselves . Indeed, as sociologist David Popenoe famously said, “American fathers are today more removed from family life than ever before… this massive erosion of fatherhood contributes mightily to many of the major social problems of our time” .
Yet, into this pain, the gospel speaks a better word: redeemed futures are possible. God specializes in bringing beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). The Bible is replete with examples of God’s redemptive grace in messy family situations—Joseph’s dysfunctional family was reconciled and became a nation, David committed adultery and saw sword enter his house yet received God’s forgiveness and a lasting legacy, the Samaritan woman with five failed marriages found living water and became an evangelist (John 4). No brokenness is beyond God’s ability to heal. As pastor and author John Piper has said, “There are no ‘dead-end’ streets in God’s grace. Even our detours and devastations can become pathways to His glory and our good.” This article addresses Broken Families, Redeemed Futures from a biblically faithful perspective. We will acknowledge the reality and consequences of family brokenness: divorce, fatherlessness, estrangement, and dysfunction. But we will move from devastation to restoration, exploring how through Christ, “the years that the locust has eaten” can be restored (Joel 2:25). We will discuss God’s provision for the wounded (such as His identity as Father to the fatherless), the steps toward healing and forgiveness, and practical ways the church can be a family for those who have none. Our tone will be empathetic and hopeful: like a gentle physician, we aim to diagnose truthfully but also offer the remedy found in our Redeemer.
The Reality and Wounds of Family Brokenness
Family brokenness comes in many forms, but at its core it involves the rupture of relationships that were meant to be life-giving and stable. Let’s briefly survey common scenarios and their impacts:
Divorce: God’s design is that marriage be a lifelong covenant (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6). Divorce, except in extreme cases (like adultery or abuse, which we’ll touch on), tears apart what was meant to be permanent. Malachi 2:16 expresses God’s heart on this: “He hates divorce,” comparing it to a man clothing himself in violence. Why such strong language? Because divorce causes deep injury—to the spouses, to any children, and even to communities. When parents split, children often internalize guilt (“Was it my fault?”) or develop trust issues (“Can any relationship truly last?”). The pain can manifest in various ways: depression, anger, rebellion, or difficulty later on in sustaining their own marriages. Even adult children of divorce report feeling destabilized by their parents’ split, as if the ground beneath their feet gave way. If the divorce involved betrayal (an affair) or abandonment, the sense of rejection and grief is profound. And for the spouses, divorce often engenders bitterness, loneliness, and financial hardship. Now, to be clear, Scripture does permit divorce in certain situations. Jesus acknowledged marital unfaithfulness as legitimate grounds (Matthew 19:9), and 1 Corinthians 7:15 implies that abandonment by an unbelieving spouse can free the believer. Some scholars (e.g., Grudem, 2018) also suggest that abuse can be seen as a form of desertion or severe breach of covenant, thus potentially justifying separation for safety . However, even when a divorce is justified or necessary in a fallen world, it is never without sorrow. It is a remedial measure, not an ideal. The very need for it testifies that something went terribly wrong. The wound is real, and it needs healing beyond what any legal decree can provide.
Fatherlessness and Motherlessness: We often highlight fatherlessness because statistically it is more common (due to higher rates of fathers abandoning or being absent), but motherlessness (through death, incarceration, etc.) similarly affects children. God’s intention was for both a father and mother to be present, providing complementary nurture (Ephesians 6:4 speaks to fathers’ role, Titus 2:4 to mothers’ role, for instance). When one parent is missing, children suffer emotionally, economically, and spiritually. A few data points illustrate this: 85% of youths in prison come from fatherless homes (according to a figure often cited from U.S. Dept. of Justice) , and 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless. While correlation doesn’t equal simple causation, the absence of a loving involved father leaves a void. Biblically, a father is meant to model God’s character to his kids (Psalm 103:13). Without that, many struggle to relate to God as Father. Some compensate with a father-figure (coach, uncle, etc.), but many do not find one. Similarly, an absent mother can leave deep imprint—children miss that unique maternal comfort and care (Isaiah 66:13 likens a mother’s comfort to God’s comfort). When a parent abandons the family, children can wrestle with feelings of worthlessness (“Why wasn’t I worth sticking around for?”). If a parent dies young, the child may struggle with fear of loss and longing for that parent’s presence at milestones (graduation, wedding, etc.). In any case, a broken family structure often yields practical hardships: single parents (usually mothers) work exceedingly hard to make ends meet and have less time for supervision. Many such families teeter on poverty; nearly 5 times as many single-mother households live below the poverty line compared to married households . These stresses can compound, sometimes leading to cycles of despair or poor choices.
Conflict and Dysfunction: Not all broken families are physically separated. Some are “intact” on paper but broken in practice due to constant conflict, abuse, or addiction. A home full of yelling, manipulation, or violence can scar a child as much as, or even more than, a divorce. For instance, a child who witnesses domestic violence experiences trauma akin to being abused themselves. Overt abuse—whether physical, sexual, or emotional—shatters trust and security. A child’s identity can be deeply damaged by a parent’s abusive words (“You’re worthless, I wish you were never born”)—words that often echo in their mind for years. Substance abuse by a parent creates chaos: parentification (children forced to act as the responsible ones), unpredictable behavior, sometimes neglect. In biblical terms, such households are living under the weight of sin’s curse very acutely. King David’s family, after his sin with Bathsheba, became plagued with dysfunction: incest among his children, one son murdering another, a later rebellion against David by Absalom (2 Samuel 13–15). We see that one generation’s sin can reverberate and magnify in the next. Many today experience what we might call “generational dysfunction”—patterns like alcoholism, teen pregnancy, or domestic violence repeating down the family line. The locusts seem to swarm year after year, devouring hope.
Given these grim realities, the emotional and spiritual toll cannot be overstated. People from broken families often carry: shame, fear of repeating the past, inability to trust or form healthy attachments, anger at one or both parents (and sometimes at God), and a deep sense of loss. For some, the idea of “family” itself triggers pain rather than comfort. And yet—this is exactly where the gospel meets us. Jesus came to “bind up the brokenhearted” (Isaiah 61:1). He himself encountered a broken family lineage (His human genealogy includes Tamar, a victim of incestuous scandal; Rahab, a former prostitute; David, an adulterer and murderer – Matthew 1). He entered into our brokenness to redeem it from the inside out.
God’s Heart for the Broken-Home and the Path to Restoration
The Bible reveals that God has special compassion for those from broken or deprived family situations. Psalm 68:5 declares that God is “a father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows” – He takes up the cause of those without the traditional family support. When your earthly father or mother forsake you, the Lord will take you in (Psalm 27:10). This is profoundly good news. It means no one is truly fatherless or abandoned who turns to God. He can fill that role directly and through His people. For instance, Scripture calls the church to care for widows and orphans (James 1:27) – essentially to be family to those without family.
Let’s break down God’s provision and plan for redeeming broken families:
1. The Gospel and Personal Healing: The first step in redeeming brokenness is inner healing through the gospel. When someone from a broken family comes to Christ, they receive a new identity and a new start. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away” (2 Corinthians 5:17). This doesn’t erase memories or consequences overnight, but it means one is no longer defined by the broken family. You are not “the abandoned kid” or “the child of divorce” or “the abuse victim” in God’s eyes; you are His beloved child, a co-heir with Christ (Romans 8:16–17). That identity is the foundation on which emotional healing builds. Moreover, the gospel provides the resources for forgiveness. Many from broken homes harbor bitterness—perhaps toward a parent who wronged them or a spouse who betrayed them. Unforgiveness is itself a locust that can eat away years, keeping one stuck in the past. Through Christ’s forgiveness of our sins, we gain the power to forgive others (Ephesians 4:31–32). Such forgiveness is not trivializing the wrong, but releasing the hold it has on our soul and placing justice in God’s hands (Romans 12:19). Corrie ten Boom, a Christian who forgave even the Nazi guard who caused her sister’s death, famously said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover the prisoner was you.” In broken families, everyone often ends up a prisoner of the initial wrong—cycling through anger, regret, blame. But forgiveness breaks that chain. This can be a long process and often requires pastoral counseling or therapy (which can be a grace of God too). Nonetheless, many testimonies abound of individuals forgiving an absent father or unfaithful ex-spouse and experiencing a wave of freedom and peace that propels them into a healthier future.
Additionally, the gospel speaks to generational cycles. It is true that patterns often repeat (Exodus 20:5 mentions the sins of fathers affecting the third and fourth generation). But in Christ, any curse or cycle can be broken because He became a curse for us (Galatians 3:13). Ezekiel 18:14–17 illustrates that if a son sees the sins of his father and chooses a different path, he will not be judged for the father’s iniquity. By the Spirit’s power, a new legacy can begin with a believer. Many could say with Joseph, who overcame a horrific family betrayal: “God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). They might testify, “I decided the cycle stops with me.” For example, someone might say, “My father was abusive, but by God’s grace I will be a loving, gentle father to my kids.” This resolve, undergirded by the Holy Spirit, often comes as one immerses in Scripture to relearn what a godly family should be, and as one experiences the fatherly love of God that re-parents their heart. Dr. Bruce Hebel, who runs a ministry on forgiveness, notes that when individuals forgive their parents and embrace God’s truth, it “changes the whole trajectory of their family line” (Hebel, 2015, p. 45). Truly, God can “restore the years” – not by making us forget them, but by repurposing them. The pain that once defined us becomes a platform for ministry. How often those from broken families develop a special empathy and calling to help others in similar situations! A divorced single mom who found hope in Christ can uniquely mentor younger single moms. A man who grew up without a father can become a dedicated youth mentor or coach, providing to others what he lacked. In God’s economy, our places of deepest hurt often become our places of deepest ministry. That is redemption at work.
2. The Church as Family: One of the most tangible ways God restores broken families is by placing the lonely in His family, the church (Psalm 68:6). The New Testament church is repeatedly described in familial terms—brothers and sisters in Christ, with God as Father (Ephesians 2:19). This is not just metaphor; it’s meant to be an experienced reality. Jesus told His followers that those who leave houses or families for His sake will receive back hundredfold in this life—“brothers and sisters and mothers and children” (Mark 10:29–30). How so? Through the community of believers. In Christ, one can gain spiritual fathers and mothers, big brothers and sisters, and spiritual children to nurture. For someone from a broken home, the church can become the stable, loving family they never had. This requires the church to truly function as the body of Christ: being intentional to include those who might be on the fringes. For example, a single-parent family might need “adoption” by a stable two-parent family for certain activities (bringing them along on outings, including them in holiday celebrations). A fatherless teen might benefit from a godly man in the congregation taking him under wing—taking him fishing, teaching him practical skills, or just checking in regularly. Paul exemplified this by mentoring Timothy as a son in the faith (1 Corinthians 4:17). Likewise, older women in the church are instructed to train younger women (Titus 2:3–4)—an implicit familial dynamic (like aunts or mothers guiding daughters).
The church also offers the context for relational healing. In a healthy church, one can observe functioning marriages and families, which provides a model that may have been absent in one’s life. A man from a broken home testified that simply being around a Christian family in his church—joining them for Sunday lunch and seeing how the husband gently treated his wife and how they prayed with their kids—was “revelatory” and helped him relearn what a father could be. Over time, such exposure can help rewire distrust and cynicism. James 5:16 encourages believers to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.” While that directly refers to sin and sickness, it certainly applies to the inner wounds from family brokenness: sharing one’s struggle with trusted brothers/sisters in Christ and receiving prayer and encouragement facilitates healing. Satan often tries to isolate those from broken families by whispering “You’re messed up, no one will understand you.” Bringing our pain into the light within Christ’s community shatters those lies. The love and acceptance found in the church can slowly melt the ice of hurt and mistrust.
3. Divine Restoration in Families Themselves: The ultimate redemption, of course, is when God actually restores the broken family itself. Sometimes, by God’s grace, separated family members are reconciled. The Old Testament ends with a promise and warning: that God will send Elijah (fulfilled in John the Baptist) “to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6). God’s desire is generational reconciliation. We have seen this in modern times: estranged parent and child forgiving each other after years of silence, or an abusive spouse who genuinely repents and, after a long process of accountability, sees their family healed (these are delicate situations, but not impossible with God). Many a prodigal child has returned home, and many prodigal parents as well. Joel 2:25’s context is that Israel repented and God not only restored their crops but poured out His Spirit (Joel 2:28) – leading to renewed relationship. Similarly, repentance and humility are keys to relational restoration. This may mean a parent humbling themselves to ask forgiveness of grown children for failures, which can break a curse. Or a grown child recognizing their own bitterness and reaching out to a parent with grace. Not every broken family will be fully healed in this life—free will remains, and some may not respond. But when even a partial restoration happens, it is a trophy of God’s grace.
Even where full reconciliation isn’t possible (say a partner in a divorce refuses or has remarried, or an abuser is unrepentant or deceased), God can still bring “restoration” in an individual’s life in the sense of filling the void. Joel 2:25 speaks of replacing lost years with abundance. God can grant new family blessings to someone who lost theirs. For instance, He may bring a wonderful step-parent or new spouse into one’s life that essentially redeems what was lost. We often see remarriages where both parties came from painful divorces now thriving in Christ and providing a godly home for their kids—this doesn’t erase the past, but it demonstrates God’s kindness in granting a second chapter. Or think of Naomi in the Book of Ruth: she lost her husband and sons (years the locusts ate), but God restored her joy through the marriage of Ruth and Boaz and the birth of a grandson, Obed, who “was to her a restorer of life” in her old age (Ruth 4:14–17). That grandson was in the lineage of Christ. God truly can write surprising twist endings.
“I Will Restore the Years”: Stories of Redemption
To bolster our hope, let’s briefly recount a couple of modern testimonies that exemplify “broken families, redeemed futures”:
- The Ferrell Family: John Ferrell grew up in a highly dysfunctional home—an alcoholic father who eventually abandoned the family, and a struggling single mom. John became bitter and got involved in drugs and crime as a teenager. But at 19, he encountered Christ through a prison ministry. God transformed him. John forgave his absent father (who had since died of liver failure) and decided to start a new legacy. He married a Christian woman, and together they raised three children in the Lord. John became heavily involved in the men’s ministry at his church, often mentoring young men who lacked fathers. Interestingly, John says that though he never had a dad to show him how to be a husband or father, the men in his church stepped into that gap—he learned by watching and asking advice. Today, his grown children are all walking with Christ, and one son is a missionary. John’s story shows that by God’s grace, a broken past need not doom the future. The cycle was broken; the years eaten by “locusts” (his lost youth) were repaid in the joy he finds now in his family and spiritual sons. “God has truly been a Father to me,” John often says, “and He gave me the privilege to be a father who points to Him.”
- Sara’s Journey: Sara’s parents divorced when she was ten. The split was acrimonious, and afterwards her mother sank into depression while her father moved to another state. Sara felt effectively parentless in her teen years, acting out in promiscuity and partying to mask her pain. In college, she hit rock bottom after a series of bad relationships. A Christian roommate gently reached out and took Sara to a campus ministry meeting. Over time, Sara encountered the love of Christ and surrendered her life to Him. A pivotal moment was when she read Psalm 27:10 and realized God hadn’t abandoned her even if she felt her parents did. Through counseling and her new church family, Sara began healing from years of feeling unwanted. She reconciled with her mother (her mom also came to Christ through seeing Sara’s change). Her relationship with her father remained strained for years, but Sara prayed for him continually. Eventually, her father also became a believer following a health scare, and he tearfully asked Sara to forgive him for not being there. Today, Sara is married and has children, and her father—now sober and much wiser—is a doting grandfather who is trying to make up for lost time. Sara remarks that the “lost years” are being restored: “I missed having a dad at my volleyball games, but now I get to watch him play with my kids, and it’s redemptive. God is writing a story of grace.”
Not every story wraps up so neatly, but every story in Christ will ultimately conclude in redemption. If not fully in this life, then in eternity, God will wipe away every tear (Revelation 21:4) and His people will dwell in a perfectly whole family forever—God’s family, where no one will be missing or broken or hurting. That is the blessed hope we look toward, and it fuels perseverance now.
Embracing a Redeemed Future
For anyone coming from a broken family or currently in one: the encouragement is that your future is not determined by your past. Joel 2:25 is God’s pledge that He can restore and even multiply goodness after loss. The pathway to that redeemed future involves a few practical exhortations, which we summarize as we conclude:
- Run to God with your pain, not away from Him. It’s common to project our family hurt onto God (e.g., distrusting God because a parent betrayed trust). But healing begins when we allow God to re-parent us—when we lament to Him our losses and let His words of comfort soak in. Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” In seasons when family wounds ache, draw near to God in prayer, worship, and Scripture, even if through tears. He will meet you there with a solace that humans cannot provide.
- Choose forgiveness and reject bitterness. This is perhaps the hardest step, but indispensable. Hebrews 12:15 warns that a bitter root causes trouble and defiles many. By forgiving those who hurt us (even if they never apologize), we cut off the poison that could seep into our future relationships. Forgiveness is often a repeated choice, not a one-time event. You may need to wake up daily and say, “Lord, by faith I forgive [name]; help my feelings to eventually follow.” Over time, they usually do. Freedom follows forgiveness.
- Pursue healthy community. Plug into a solid, grace-filled church. Seek out mentors and friends who uplift you. If you are a single parent, bravely ask for help when needed; the family of God is there for that. If you lack family events during holidays, let it be known—you may be surprised how readily Christians will open their homes (sometimes people assume you have other plans unless you speak up). Also, invest in others. Serving and loving within the church keeps one from self-pity and creates the reciprocal relationships that form spiritual family.
- Establish godly patterns in your own home. If you are now leading a family (or hope to someday), be intentional about doing things differently. We learn what to avoid from our past, but we must also learn what to build. Cling to biblical teachings on marriage, parenting, and conflict resolution. Don’t be afraid to seek Christian counseling or attend workshops to learn skills that weren’t modeled for you (communication, positive discipline, etc.). God’s Word and wisdom can equip where your upbringing did not. And when you stumble (we all replicate some of our parents’ flaws at times), quickly repent, seek forgiveness, and get back on track. Your children don’t need you to be perfect; they need to see you walk humbly with God. That itself is a new legacy.
- Hold onto hope. Perhaps your family situation right now seems beyond repair. Remember, we worship a God who raises the dead. He can resurrect love where it has died. Keep praying for estranged loved ones. Keep believing that God is working even when you cannot see. Joel’s prophecy of restoration came while the locusts were still devouring—it was a promise for the future that required faith in the present. In the same way, speak hope over your family. For example, instead of constantly saying, “My family is so messed up,” begin to declare in prayer, “Lord, I thank You that You are working to restore my family. I trust You will bring beauty from these ashes.” Such faith-filled perspective not only honors God but also inspires us to act in ways that align with hope rather than despair.
In Joel 2, after God promises to restore the crops lost to locusts, He says, “You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, who has dealt wondrously with you” (Joel 2:26). Indeed, when God heals broken families, it results in praise. The redeemed futures cause people to marvel at God’s grace. Broken homes that become Christ-centered homes shine as trophies of what God can do. If you are in the midst of brokenness, know that your story is not over. Surrender the broken pieces to Jesus—the Master Craftsman—who can create a mosaic more beautiful for having been broken. The process may be painful and require patience, but the end will be restoration and praise.
In the words of the prophet Joel, “Do not fear; rejoice and be glad, for the LORD has done great things.” (Joel 2:21). May we look forward with rejoicing, trusting our God who “makes all things new” (Revelation 21:5) to write chapters of redemption in our families. The locusts do not have the final say; the Lord does. And His promise to the broken is sure: “I will restore the years…”
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References
Grudem, W. (2020). Systematic Theology, 2nd ed. Zondervan.
Hebel, B. (2015). Forgiving Forward: Unleashing the Forgiveness Revolution. Servant Publications.
MacArthur, J. F. (1991). The Fulfilled Family. Moody Publishers.
Piper, J. (2016). This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence. Crossway.
Tripp, P. D. (2008). War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles. P&R Publishing.
U.S. Census Bureau. (2020). Living Arrangements of Children Under 18 Years Old: 1960 to Present. Census.gov.
Wilcox, W. et al. (2011). Why Marriage Matters: Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences (3rd ed.). Institute for American Values / National Marriage Project.
